Bikemonger’s Bum Butter




Bikemonger’s Bum Butter

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Everything You Need to Know About Cycling Cream But Were Afraid to Ask.

What is it?  Cycling cream, AKA chamois cream is used “downstairs” to prevent friction and infection. Its used by a hell of a lot of cyclists, but rarely talked about.

Why do I need Bikemonger’s Bum Butter? Basically cycling is tough enough without having a sore arse. Who wants a sore arse? By protecting your skin down there from friction you will have a much more comfortable experience. What’s more it allows you to cycle day in day out without discomfort. Our own “Bum Butter” also forms a barrier, so if you have already broken the skin, it not only keeps the nasty stuff out, it’s also antibacterial. And finally we add ingredients, natural ingredients I hasten to add, that provide an anaesthetic effect, slightly numbing any pain.

How is Bikemonger’s Bum Butter it applied? Load up a blob of the cream onto your finger and smear it between your buttocks, and behind your :”daddy batteries” (aka nuts, balls, etc). The motion of wriggling around on a bike will help it get to wherever it needs to get. Some folk prefer to apply it to the pad in their shorts, this also works.

What about ladies? Some creams are a bit zingy and meant for men only. So read the label. However our own product “Happy Bottom Bum Butter” is “fufu friendly” and compatible with ladies and their wonderful parts. In fact its used by several incredibly impressive female cyclists. Lee Cragie does ultra long rides and is a big fan. She is also our national Champion. Karen Darke used it on her armpits (and elsewhere) to get a Gold medal in Rio Olympics.

What does Bikemonger’s Bum Butter feel like? Many creams feel like you have unloaded a load of cream into your pants… because you have. It’s a weird feeling, and its way better than having your skin ground up. But here’s a thing: Happy Bottom is a vegetable butter-like substance, it soaks into the skin, and feels much more normal.

Additional information


Knob of Happy Bottom Bum Butter, 100g Pot of Happy Bottom Bum Butter